


everything i could have ever wanted

by yutamatic



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Summer, actually best friends to lovers but that's not a tag for some reason?, chenle is trying, feelings are hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24696505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yutamatic/pseuds/yutamatic
Summary: The five times Renjun rejects Chenle’s hints of affection, and the one time he returns it.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 13
Kudos: 101





	everything i could have ever wanted

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rimjhim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rimjhim/gifts).



> happy birthday mya!! ilysm i hope you like this <3

_One._

“My scalp is starting to burn.” Renjun groans as he slumps against the wall, the plastic bag that’s tied on his head making a crinkle sound as it rubs against it. 

Chenle only laughs loud, it’s 3am on the first day of summer break and he’s right at the cusp of being delusional. “You get used to it.” 

“Well that’s coming from you, and you’ve dyed your hair more times than I can count on my fingers.” Renjun huffs back, turning off his phone and dropping it onto the mattress. “I should’ve gone for a boring color like you. It’s so much work to get to platinum.” 

“Hey! Black isn’t boring! Jeno’s been wanting me to go back to it because he said it amplifies my handsome features more than any other hair color.” Chenle pats the plastic bag on his head. 

Renjun snorts. “Whatever. I can’t believe I had to dye my hair four separate times for this. Platinum looks cool, but all my hair is gonna fall off before I get there.” 

“You’re really close. After we wash that out, you’ll be there.” Chenle says with a smile. 

“Then why don’t we do that then. It’s been half an hour, right?” Renjun gets up from his bed and checks the time on his phone. “Come on.” 

They wash the dye out and Chenle’s in the middle of patting his head dry when he sees Renjun’s eyes widen as he stares at himself in the mirror.

“Holy shit, it’s so light.” Renjun says, lifting a few stands and letting them fall back down onto his head.

“And my hair’s so dark.” Chenle replies as he runs his hand through his own damp hair.

Renjun turns his head towards him. “I haven’t seen you with dark hair in like. Years.”

Chenle smiles. “Do you like it?” 

Renjun stares at him for a moment. “It’s okay.”

“Does it make me look more handsome?” 

He scoffs under his breath. “No.” 

“You’re mean.” Chenle pushes his shoulder lightly. “And your hair doesn’t look too bad.” he reaches out, fingers moving Renjun’s fringe out of his eyes. It’s surprisingly soft despite all the dying and bleaching it went through, and Chenle smiles softly as he combs his fingers through the strands.

It suits Renjun quite well, and it’s _cute_ , but Chenle doesn’t say it out loud. 

“Thanks.” Renjun reaches up and hits Chenle’s forearm with the back of his hand. Chenle almost frowns at the lost as his hand drops back to his side. 

“Let’s go to sleep.” he yawns. 

“You’re gonna sleep with your hair wet?” Chenle asks.

Renjun shrugs. “It’s fine. I can fix it tomorrow.”

They go back to Renjun’s room, and Renjun faceplants right onto his bed, and Chenle lays down beside him. 

“Good night Chenle.” he mumbles, turning to face the wall. 

“Night Renjun.” Chenle replies, and not even a minute later he hears Renjun’s breathing even out.

Chenle sighs and stares up at the glow in the dark stars painted across the ceiling, before his eyes feel heavy and he falls asleep.

 _Two._

“You cheater!” Renjun points his half of the switch at Donghyuck accusingly. 

“I’m not!” Donghyuck bickers back. “You just suck at this game.”

“You suck at this game.” Renjun steps closer and gets in his face, and it’s about to get physical until Mark hooks his hands under Donghyuck’s armpits and pulls him away. Chenle wraps his arms around Renjun’s waist and pulls him back, and Jeno steps in between them.

“Stop, it’s just a game. No need for fighting.” Jeno says calmly, smiling at both Renjun and Donghyuck who are still glaring at each other.

“Fine.” Donghyuck says, and Mark releases him from his grip, but not without leaving a kiss on Donghyuck’s neck first.

Chenle doesn’t let go of Renjun just yet, and he wonders what would happen if he kissed Renjun’s neck before letting go too. So he leans forward and presses his lips to Renjun’s nape. 

“What the-” Renjun’s hand flies to the spot Chenle kissed as he wiggles out of the embrace.

“What?” it sounds a little panicked, and Chenle hopes his face isn’t too red for it to be noticeable. 

“I just felt something on my neck. It was probably your nose or something.” he says, and Chenle breathes in relief. 

“Lunch is served!” Jaemin shouts, and him and Jisung carry plates of food out, and it snaps Chenle out of his thoughts. He looks back at Renjun, who’s already off to the table to eat the food, and his heart aches a little. 

_Three._

The fair is always crowded, especially since it’s the summer, and Chenle doesn’t want to get lost like he did last time they went. 

It’s too late, though. He can’t find his friends anywhere, and none of them are picking up their phones. 

Chenle wanders around, passing by a bunch of screaming children and teenage girls who are making boomerangs and complaining about how the weather is too hot. 

He then spots a head of platinum hair with lavender at the tips under the shade of one of the food stands, and he immediately runs towards him without hesitation.

“Renjun!” 

Renjun turns around, a hot dog in his hand, looking unimpressed. 

“What?” he asks and takes a bite. 

“Thank god. Where’s everyone else?” Chenle asks, his hands on his knees as he still tries to catch his breath, because he did run quite a distance. 

“On that.” Renjun gestures towards the pirate ship ride that’s swinging back and forth with his chin. Chenle squints at it, and he can see Jisung screaming all the way in the front while the rest of them are having a good time in the back.

“Oh.”

“Did you get lost again?” Renjun asks, soft but blunt, with his mouth full of food.

Chenle slides his hands into the pockets of his jeans as his gaze locks on his feet. “Yeah.” he mutters.

Renjun sighs. And then there’s fingers wrapping around Chenle’s wrist, tugging him closer until he’s standing at Renjun’s side.

“Better stay close. Don’t wander off by yourself, okay?” Renjun says.

Chenle’s eyes travel from Renjun’s face, then down to his wrist. A part of him wants to properly intertwine their fingers, he’s so close and this is his chance, all he has to do is curl his palm and move his arm up a little. 

He takes it, moving his hand up and lacing his fingers between Renjun’s. Renjun stops chewing and turns towards him.

“What are you doing?” he asks. 

Chenle ignores the sting in his chest. “Staying close like you said.”

Renjun opens his mouth, about to reply, but shuts it the moment he hears Donghyuck’s laughter and Jaemin’s attempts to comfort a shaken up Jisung. 

He walks towards them and lets go of Chenle’s hand. 

_Four._

Chenle huffs, resting his chin on his hand. _Give up_ , the pessimistic side of his brain thinks. _He doesn’t like you back._

And that’s a totally valid thought. Chenle believes it, since Renjun never returns his affection back. 

He tries, he really does. He drops hints because he knows Renjun isn’t stupid, so why hasn’t he caught on already? 

Maybe he did catch on, but he doesn’t say anything. But Chenle still has dumb hope, so he keeps trying.

He watches Renjun shakily hold a spoon with his left hand as he tries to eat cereal. 

“Do you need help? Your hand is shaking.” Chenle asks with concern.

“I’m fine.” Renjun dismisses, stuffing the spoonful into his mouth. His right hand lays idly on the table. (he sprained his wrist playing badminton with Jaemin a few days ago. Chenle watched it all). He’s been trying to do everything with his left hand, claiming his new goal in life is to become ambidextrous, so he has an easy excuse to refuse help from anyone.

“Renjun, it looks like you’re having a hard time. Let me.” Chenle reaches across the table and gently takes the spoon from his hand.

“I’m not a baby.” Renjun glares, but Chenle ignores him and scoops some cereal from the bowl.

“Here comes the airplane!” he teases as he brings the spoon to Renjun’s lips. Renjun furrows his eyebrows and continues to glare, but still opens his mouth and accepts it.

Chenle smiles, warmth spreading through his chest. Renjun’s so cute.

“That’s enough now.” The spoon’s being taken out of his hand, and it’s back in Renjun’s. 

“But I like babying you.” Chenle frowns, as a joke on the outside, but it hurts on the inside. 

“I don’t like being babied.” Renjun replies as he tries to get another scoopful. 

“You’re stubborn.” Chenle says, colder than he intended it to be. He gets up and leaves the dining table, not sparing another glance at Renjun. 

_Five._

“Why did it have to end like that?” Chenle wipes his tears with the back of his hand. “She just wanted to be happy!”

“Yeah, that was sad.” there are tears in Renjun’s eyes, but he hasn’t shed them yet. 

Chenle buries his head into Renjun’s shoulder, nose against the crook of his neck as he cries more, arms wrapping around Renjun’s torso. He’s expecting Renjun to push him away, to say something like ‘you’re getting your snot all over me’, but he doesn’t. Instead, his fingers run through Chenle’s hair, gently playing with the black strands.

But it’s gone as soon as it arrives. Renjun’s pushing Chenle off of him and letting him lay on the bed and cry into the pillow.

Chenle’s heart cracks. 

He’s crying for a whole different reason now, and Renjun just lays next to him, probably thinking he’s still crying over the movie.

_Plus one._

The sun is slowly disappearing behind the horizon, and orange and pink hues reflect nicely off the sea. 

Chenle admires the view as he walks along the shore, hands in his pockets, kicking shells and sand every now and then. He can hear his friends’ screams and water splashing behind him, and he would usually join in with them, but his mind is so damn loud. 

_Renjun._

All he’s been thinking about is Renjun, and how he can never have him. His chest is heavy, heart aching, and all the times he’s been brushed off and his hints being ignored replay in his head. 

And it makes him feel like shit. 

“Chenle?”

He nearly jumps at the voice, and he whips his head around. It’s Renjun, of course it is, standing innocently behind him.

Chenle runs. 

His footsteps dissolve under the water as he runs across the shoreline. He doesn’t know where he’s going, he just needs to get away, _further and further and further-_

“Chenle!”

He doesn’t stop. His legs are tired, his lungs burn with the salt in the air, and he stops, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

“Why are you running from me?” Renjun asks, just as breathless as he stands behind him. 

Chenle honestly doesn’t know. He keeps his head down and stares at the sand between his toes.

“You’ve been off lately Chenle.” Renjun continues. “What’s on your mind?”

A beat.

“You.” 

It slips off Chenle’s tongue before he can realize it. “I’m always thinking about you. And how you constantly reject me.”

“Reject you? What?” Renjun furrows his eyebrows. 

“My little drops of affection. How I try to hold your hand, feed you, cuddle you. It doesn’t mean anything, does it?” 

“Chenle, what-”

“Don’t act stupid Renjun.” 

A tear falls into the sand. Chenle lifts his head, and Renjun looks absolutely gorgeous with the sunset behind him. 

“Can’t you see? I _like_ you. Fuck, I think I’m in love with you.” more tears roll down his cheeks, and he wipes them away with the back of his hand so roughly that it leaves his skin irritated. 

Renjun doesn’t say anything. He only steps forward, grabs Chenle’s shirt and crashes their lips together. 

Chenle’s breath hitches in Renjun’s mouth, his whole body tensing. His thoughts stop all at once, and though this is their first kiss together, it’s not explosions or a rush of butterflies in their stomachs - it’s reassurance.

_You’re okay, I’m okay, we’re okay._

_Don’t cry, I’m in love with you too._

Renjun breaks the kiss, but keeps his grip on Chenle’s shirt. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.” he says quietly. Guilt is threaded through his voice. “The reason I rejected you was because I wasn’t sure if I could do it.” 

“Do what? A relationship?” Chenle asks, words shaky. 

“No. You deserve the whole world Chenle. I wasn’t sure if I could be that for you.” 

Chenle can hear his heart shatter into millions pieces.

“What? Renjun, you’re _perfect_ , what do you mean-”

Renjun shakes his head. “A lot was on my mind, you know since we’re all going to start college soon and everything, and I wanted to confess but-” he pauses, and a tear falls from his eyes. Chenle wipes it away with his thumb. 

“I knew you deserved better. So I rejected you.”

“Renjun,” Chenle places his other hand on Renjun’s cheek, framing his face. “You’re everything I could have ever wanted.” 

Renjun smiles, eyes sparkling with the colors of the sunset and tears. He pulls Chenle into another kiss, and it’s firm, more sure this time, and Chenle melts right into it. 

“Will you be my boyfriend?” Chenle asks, their foreheads resting against each other.

Renjun snorts. “Isn’t the answer obvious?”

He leans forward and captures Chenle’s lips again. “Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading
> 
> yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/yutamatic) & [cc](https://curiouscat.me/yutamatic)


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